


you don't get lucky twice

by minjisung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, I Tried, M/M, please dont let the warning scare you this is kinda cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 12:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16326077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minjisung/pseuds/minjisung
Summary: For someone who loves fairytales, Jisung'shappily ever afterwas short-lived.





	you don't get lucky twice

**Author's Note:**

> **song** : [without the bitter, the sweet isn't as sweet - mayday parade](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VkrxEcbpPs)  
> alternatively, this was going to be titled after [tonight by fm static](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pju9L89vU90)  
> for those who can't read the tags, this is a hogwarts/harry potter AU  
> minsung nation... i'm sorry in advance.

Han Jisung had always liked fairytales.

He used to think that it is something that someone like him would never, ever be able to experience. Going on his own grand adventure, falling in love, marrying the love of his life and living happily ever after. He was more of the 'damsel in distress' that gets stuck in the tower, protected by some fearsome dragon, and is never let out.

So yes, he lives precariously through novels and stories of romance that would never happen to him. However, his chance came when his parents finally enrolled him to Hogwarts, leading into him meeting the person who becomes the ever beloved prince charming he's been waiting for. Everything was perfect, and it didn't take long for him to live the fairytale that he had only dreamt of.

It was, until the day when it all came crashing down.

The calendar in the house had long been thrown away, any inclination of the date was permanently erased from every wall and corner of his shared apartment, so there is no possible way of knowing what day of the month it is. But still, the chill that ran down his arm, and the suffocating feeling in his chest alerted him of just what day it could possibly be.

Jisung was crying even before he opened his eyes, although he had cried every night for god knows how long that he was sure that tears had been permanently drained from his body and he is unable to do so anymore.

He was wrong.

Expression blank, Jisung finally cracked open his eyes and stared up at the ceiling on the bed big enough for two. Sunlight was streaming through the white paned windows in the bedroom, the air still, as if it knew better than to make him feel worse than he felt right at that moment.

Bare feet padding down the hallway and down the stairs, he felt a choke coming up his throat as he noticed that the place still looked as beautiful as their first night, as they first envisioned it, even after everything that had happened. His sniffles turned into sobs as his eyes landed on the chair he used to sit in, the mug he used to drink his coffee from, the spot where he used to stand when he kissed him goodbye for the day.

It has been a little before a year and Jisung couldn’t even fathom how some people could move on from losing someone, he certainly couldn’t, and he is sure that he couldn’t do so until the day he died. Clutching his chest, Jisung shook with a series of heart wrenching sobs as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

It was this day last year that they planned to say their vows. In the height of spring, when the flowers are in full bloom, when Jisung would feel like he was the happiest person ever born in to the world, so how did everything change so drastically in the space of a year?

“Minho.” he called, his cracking voice bouncing off the walls. “Wake up..”

 _He can’t_. Jisung thought, tearing his eyes off his empty chair and walked slowly out the back porch. _He never could._

 

> “I’m not fucking impressed.”
> 
> Jisung's eyes widened as he registers who the deep voice belongs to. Sitting up quickly, he had to squeeze his eyes back shut with the incoming headache that came rushing in. His boyfriend does not sound impressed, that’s for sure, and he had always made sure to always use his inside voice unless under extreme emotional distress.
> 
> He sent his best smile towards Minho.However, the boy didn’t return the smile, but gave his shoulder a soft push back, so that his whole body fell back on to the thick pillows.
> 
> “Babe...”
> 
> “Don't.”
> 
> “…I love you?”
> 
> “Fuckin’ _hemlock_ powder. Of all things that is not pepper— _goddamnit_.”
> 
> Glancing over at him, he could see him glaring at his general direction from the corner of his eyes, a scowl on his face from his place on his bedside, sitting comfortably on a plush armchair. Jisung grimaces, wiggling his feet a little under the thin hospital blankets. It took him a second to register that he was in his lover's office. And on top of the table beside him was his trusty potion kit with an open and empty vial next to it.
> 
> “I’m sorry…?"
> 
> "You know damn well sorry isn't going to cut it.”
> 
> “You _know_ I can't cook and—”
> 
> “You could have _died_. Do you see how serious this is now? What would have happened if I didn't get to you in time?"
> 
> "Thankfully I'm dating the world's best potioneer...right?"
> 
> "How many times do I have to tell you the right term is _healer._ "
> 
> "—Besides, it's your fault for putting your potions kit in my kitchen.."
> 
> Running his fingers in frustration through his hair, Minho scowls, not wanting to admit his mistake. "You still scared me shitless, you know. I had to apparate us here and cancel my afternoon appointment."
> 
> "You still love me, though~"
> 
> Minho rolled his eyes, hands creeping forwards and entwining his fingers with his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. With a shaky little tug, he brought Jisung's hands up to his lips for a small kiss before resting it on his cheek. Jisung, feeling his heart tingle and flutter with a mixture of happiness and a little bit of guilt, used his free hand to stroke Minho's hair and slide down the side of his face before letting it drop weakly to his side..
> 
> "You're right, I do. And _you're_ banned from the kitchen."
> 
> "Do you want me to starve? I can't go out everyday. Unlike you, I can't just _breathe_ and have people shove dollar bills down my throat."
> 
> "I'll come over and cook for you."
> 
> " _E_ _veryday_? We could barely see each other with your schedule.."
> 
> "Everyday." He lets out a chuckle, tugging his face along with it and placing a soft kiss on his lover's lips. "Don't underestimate me."
> 
> It's Jisung's turn to roll his eyes, leaning in for another kiss on the corner of his lips. There is no way in hell Jisung would _completely_ obey him, but he could pretend for now, for the price of seeing Minho's smile in contrast to the worry he had worn earlier.
> 
> He could feel his boyfriend shaking off his hand in order to climb on the tiny bed, propping his head up on the the pillows and pulling him in his arms and holding him close. They stayed in complete silence, with his head resting against Minho's chest, sighing in content as he feels his lips pressing against his forehead over and over again, letting Jisung _know_ that he's safe so long as he's with him.

Black sweater wrapped tightly around his build, he tried and failed to not think of that day all those years ago. The day that started with a sunrise unlike any other, the day when he unknowingly gave his heart to a nameless stranger. He gladly did, now he knows, he would give him everything and anything that he could. And he did.

As his bare feet found the grassy ground, the wind immediately picked up, and Jisung felt a watery smile coming to his face.

“Minho."

His whisper carried out in the wind as the breeze caressed him, messing with his hair like he used to. Jisung closes his eyes as his sobs became louder, unable to control himself.

 _"I hate you._ ”

He was inconsolable that day. Completely so. Something that none of his family and friends have ever seen. The normally composed guy was in hysterics, crying himself hoarse and shaking uncontrollably. But of course, the event was anything but normal. Jisung could still remember being restrained by a few people as he tried punching, kicking, clawing his way to Minho's side. They had told him that they wanted him to remember him the way he did in his memories, not the way he is on the hospital morgue.

There were two things that struck him about that, the first is the fact that Minho was not the way he’s supposed to look. The second, the fact that the only way he could see him again was just that: _in his memories._

And the thought just made him cry even harder.

 

> "I feel _sick_."
> 
> "Did you eat too much cheesecake?"
> 
> "I'm not you, Jisung."
> 
> "Right.You wish you were, though."
> 
> "I'm coming down with something and you're just joking around," To prove his point, Minho lets out a passing cough.
> 
> "Hurry up and apparate home, then."
> 
> "But baby~" Jisung sighs helplessly at him, who was laying on his bed with an arm lazily slung across his middle. Minho rarely acts like he wants to be pampered, and when he does it's usually through some convoluted plan he makes on his own, like the _stomach ache_ he claims to have. "I'm fine with resting here."
> 
> "Who are you and what did you do to my boyfriend?" He asks with squinted eyes, poking at Minho's puffed cheeks all the while enjoying the view of his pout. "Are you so sick that you're resorting into acting _cute_?" The older male nods weakly, closing his eyes for good measure as he does. "Aw, my poor baby~" He coos, sinking down on his knees so that he's face leveled with him on his bed.
> 
> Still trying to sell the act, Minho coughs a couple more times, going so far as to peek at Jisung with one eye, only to close it immediately when he's caught. Jisung props his chin on the covers, leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips. "How cute… Want to stay here for the night?"
> 
> A weak nod follows the question, Minho's eyebrows furrowed tightly with his attempt to keep the rest of his face as calm as possible. Breaking out into a grin would be his ticket for a dose of an apparition to his own flat. With his eyes still closed, his short fingers feel the top of the duvet, trying to find his boyfriend's hands, only to grab onto thin air.
> 
> "Jisung?"
> 
> "Yes?"
> 
> "Where are you?"
> 
> "I'm sleeping on the couch. Wouldn't want to catch your _cold_ , now would I?"
> 
> Finally opening his eyes, he could see Jisung from across the room, looking so smug that he almost wants to kiss him and throw a slipper in his direction at the same time. "But-"
> 
> "Get some rest, Minho." He has the audacity to _grin_ , that asshole. "Goodnight."
> 
> "...Goodnight." Minho mumbles at his boyfriend's retreating back. It wasn't seconds later that the lights were turned off and the door shut, leaving him in complete darkness. "Well _shit_."

“Why do you have to be so _brave_ and _stupid_?” Jisung yelled at the skies, tears cascading down his pale face. "Why did you have to leave me...”

Jisung had never been angry to Minho. Not once. Not even when he had to cancel on him for the umpteenth time, nor even when he had taken his anger on him one day for some petty, miniscule reason. He prefers to soothe rather than to retaliate, to let him get his feelings off his chest rather than stop him. He had poured all his love to him and had only wanted his love back in return, nothing more. This is why his family and friends jumped in surprised as he yelled in frustration and pain. Chan had been in tears beside him, trying his best to calm his shaking shoulders, Changbin on his other side, his rough hands holding onto Jisung’s cold ones, also equally in tears.

“You said we could stay together forever, you fucking liar!” He cried, sinking down to the ground with sobs. “We were supposed to get married today, don’t you remember? We had it planned already..”

Today marks the third year since they began dating. The beautiful blooming flowers in their backyard hauntingly echoed how the flowers on the Spring they met bloomed, pure white and glowing in the sunlight.

“You could have taken me with you… You should have taken me with you.”

Jisung laughed bitterly through his tears, eyes still staring up at the mockingly clear blue sky, the spring breeze still blowing through his hair.

 

> “I keep telling you, it’s not finished yet! Don't try to sneak a peek, you are so impatient—”
> 
> With a nervous little laugh, the younger male lifts his eyes off the sketchbook on his lap only to meet with his boyfriend’s unwavering gaze, a light blush immediately glazes across his cheeks. Brown eyes faltering back to his half-finished work, a mumble replaces his previously indignant protests. He picks up a small rock from his position on the field of grass, chucking it at his grinning boyfriend.
> 
> “Stop looking at me like that.”
> 
> “Looking like what?”
> 
> “ _That_.”
> 
> “I wasn’t aware that I was looking at you in any particular way…”
> 
> He was, and he knows it.
> 
> "Shut up and stay still."

“We were supposed to sleep by each other’s side all night and wake up to each other's face. I was just getting used to that Minho, the genuinely happiness I felt every morning when I turn over and you’re right there beside me.. And now—” He closes his eyes, pausing as he tries his best to calm his shaking voice, wrapping the black sweater Minho always wore closer to his body, the sweater that still had the faintest traces of his smell.

“It hurts, so, so much...” Jisung whimpered pathetically, clutching at his chest and pulling his knees close to him. “This is all your fault… You just took some days off after completely moving in, remember? ...so we could finally spend some undisturbed time together in _our_ apartment. I just _had_ you.."

"You ate the food I make like it was the best thing you've had in the world, despite both of us knowing it fucking sucked.. You'd always hug me from behind when I'm cooking, too, knowing I absolutely _hate_ it since it always distract me." He lets out a tiny, bitter laugh. "..but you'd still do it no matter how many times I tell you how dangerous it is.. You've always been stubborn like that. Remember how it used to be me who's the stubborn one? I guess it's true that you mimic each other's trait after spending so much with them."

“I cried like I never did before, screamed like I never did before.. I only had you for four months before you’re taken away from me. Four fucking months. We barely settled in our apartment.. Minho, did you you have any idea how much I cried? It was terrible. So, so terrible that just thinking about it—At your service I—…I couldn’t even say anything about you up at the podium. I wanted everyone to know just how much you mean to me, just how much I love you, and yet I couldn't.. I was a fucking mess, and I still am.”

He sat in silence, letting the wind swirl around him as if encasing him in a comforting hug, stretching his fingers to the front to reach out for something, anything that could make him feel better.

 

> "Get up, Jisung."
> 
> "No."
> 
> "Come on, we're going to be late."
> 
> "I don't want to~"
> 
> The gryffindor didn't nudge and stayed curled up on the royal blue covers, doing his best to divert his eyes from the figure of his boyfriend standing by the end of the bed. Instead, he continued playing with the ends of his pillow, conveniently ignoring Minho's presence, as he does when he's being stubborn, accompanied by a sulking pout. Minho could only sigh, running his fingers through tousled dark locks, frustration evident on his face. On one hand, he's getting really impatient with Jisung's five year-old attitude, but on the other, he understands the emotions he's going through with losing the constant presence of the one person he loves.
> 
> "We've gone over this." He says carefully, adjusting his blazer and sitting on the bed, looking over at the other boy. "I'm not _dying_ , Jisung. It's just graduation."
> 
> _I know that_ , Jisung thought. He doesn't like how immature he's acting, but he can't help it. The idea of spending an entire year without Minho within the castle walls is much more worse than spending a hundred years in Azkaban with him. He tried convincing himself that he's better than this, but the little voice in his head tells him otherwise. The seventh year Ravenclaw's dormitory room was empty except for the two of them. Minho's roommates are most likely spending their last days as Hogwarts students by saying goodbye to the friends they're leaving behind, and has to come back the year after.
> 
> "The ceremony is about to start, Jisung.." He says softly, sitting closer to his lover and drapes an arm over his body, rolling him over to face him. There was no protest from the other, specially after the planted kiss on his pout. "We have to get going." He pulled the younger male closer, fingers brushing the stray blonde locks from his soft cheeks, giving them a tug and earning a whine from the owner. "Don't start crying now, cause you know I'll fucking cry, too."
> 
> "I was _trying_! Now that you mentioned it, I can't stop! Good job!" They both laughed, Minho brushing the tears from his boyfriend's cheek away with his thumb. Jisung gasped and let out a sob, unable to control himself the moment he saw the twinkle in Minho's eyes. Oh, how he'll miss looking into those eyes…
> 
> "Come on, you big crybaby." He didn't know that his departure would affect him this much, specially since he's been acting completely normal just a few days ago. "I'll send you an owl everyday. Hell, I'll even send a howler professing my undying love for you, for everyone to hear."
> 
> "That sounds both like a dream come true and a nightmare." Jisung laughs lightly, sniffing. "..but it isn't the same, is it?"
> 
> The crack in his voice protruded through every barrier in Minho's heart. He hates seeing Jisung like this, even more knowing he's the reason for his sadness, though both know it's something neither of them can control. He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss on his lips— as if trying to stop its' trembling. "It'll be the same. I'll still love you the same. Or even more."
> 
> "...You're just saying that so I'd get up."
> 
> "You caught me." Jisung huffs and pushes on Minho's shaking chest from laughter, who only laughed some more. "I'm just kidding. But we really need to _go_."
> 
> "I don't want you to go…"
> 
> "It's one measly year, it'll be over in no time. Think about it, by this time next year, it'll be you with the diploma in your hands, and I'll be there waiting for you."
> 
> "It's one miserable year, you mean."
> 
> "You can visit me for the holidays. I can take you anywhere you want to go, I promise. Then after that, once you've graduated, we can find our own place." He pauses for a quick second "So we won't have to sneak around your parents anymore."
> 
> That seems to take him out of his gutter of depressing thoughts, Jisung turning his body away. Minho doesn't understand why he's shy about it, considering the fact they've played around before. Although the first time started off as an awkward dance of words and skin— it wasn't _terrible_. The next handful of times were brought upon by urgent kisses in the middle of the night within the same bed they're both lying on at this very moment. Most were insinuated by Minho, but the rare occasions where Jisung feels bold is his favorite moments.
> 
> "What if you meet a really hot healer?"
> 
> Minho almost scoffed at the small glint of insecurity in his boyfriend's voice that he knows all too well. "Are you kidding me? I literally had to go against Felix in a Quidditch match for you, and you think I'd drop you for a hot healer?"
> 
> "..."
> 
> "The silence hurts." He shakes his head, rolling over Jisung, ignoring the muffled groans and complaints. "Hey, look at me. No one's hotter, prettier, more handsome, or better than you. _No one_." The former Ravenclaw smiles helplessly at him, pulling him ever so closer to press a loving kiss on his lips, fingers threading through his hair as if to remember the way it feels on his fingertips. It really is the last time he could hold and kiss him that way, on the bed that they're all too familiar with and shared a good portion of their firsts. Jisung shudders at his embrace, sadness momentarily forgotten from his words coming back in a painful tug in his heart.
> 
> The Gryffindor male closes his eyes and feels salty tears silently making their way down his face, followed by calloused thumbs that gently wipes them away without a word. Pressing one last kiss on his forehead, Minho tugs on his boyfriend to sit up, in which he complies to, knowing there's no more time left to stall.
> 
> The walk down to the Great Hall was silent between them, contrast to the noise of shouting students all around them as they climbed down the marble staircase, hand in hand, and into the busy hall alight with floating handles for their last goodbyes. They enter the hall in slow steps, knowing they'll have to part ways in a few seconds and sit on their assigned tables. Jisung's eyes roamed to his table on the far left, where he spots his best friends Chan and Changbin settling themselves down, the latter raising his head as if on cue and locked eyes with him, waving once for him to come over and sit with them.
> 
> Turning back to Minho, Jisung feels him squeeze his hand in his, mouth curled upwards in a silent smile that speaks volumes. Minho wordlessly caught Jisung's lips in a chaste kiss, pressing another one near his temple before he leans back and flashes him a grin which he returns. With one last squeeze, they both let go and turn their backs against each other, settling down amongst other students in their respective group of friends. Minho is immediately accosted by Seungmin's blunt words about their shared moment he was 'forced to watch', when in reality he shouldn't be the one to talk since his own PDA with his boyfriend is _far_ worse than anything him and Jisung had done.
> 
> It didn't take long for the headmaster to announce the graduating class, and he, along with the rest of the students, clapped for the seventh years who have risen from their seats. Jisung meets his boyfriend's eyes across the table, throwing him the biggest smile that resonates how proud he is of him.
> 
> _Everything is going to be alright._

“Can’t you hold me one more time?” Jisung whispered, closing his eyes. Almost immediately, he appeared in front of him, small smile and his signature dark clothing and all.

“ _Jisung, I would kiss you all day if I could_.” He could hear the echo of his voice sounded through the wind, a mere shadow of what used to be.

“I need you. I miss you so much …I don’t know what I’m doing without you.” He begged, sobs wrecking his body once more, eyes still closed and focused fully on the beautiful embodiment of his late lover right in front of him.

He shook his head, a sad little frown on his face, as if telling him that he’s disapproving of his actions. But Jisung shook his head weakly, signalling that there’s nothing else he could do. A particularly violent wind suddenly appeared and blew his blonde hair back in one go, it reminded him so much of Minho’s no nonsense reactions that he had to let out a small bitter laugh.

“But I’m yours.” He whispered. “I don’t know how to do all of this without you. I don’t want to do this without you. I can't… It's too much for me to even _think_ about—”

“Try, _love_ , try for me.” The shadow answered back.

“Minho..”

“Jisung, you’re stronger than you think.”

“Not without you.”

He sighed, wiping tears from him frozen cheeks.

“I must look pathetic.. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve never looked more beautiful.”

Jisung cracked the tiniest of smiles and let out a slither of laughter. The Minho he knew had his moments, those special moments where he would make him happy with one word and nothing else, and the image of him in his mind seem to be doing the same.

“Open your eyes, Jisung. It’s time to get up …I love you.”

He felt his heart constrict with the best type of pain there is and complied to his request. The soft spring light greeted him. Minho's shadow disappeared, his heart immediately feeling empty at its wake. Jisung looked up to the sky, knowing full well that he’s up there wishing that he could hold him just as much as he does.

“I love you too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i finished this at 5:11am and is not proofread, so if i have typos... don't call the cops on me  
> twt: [@sk9dz](https://twitter.com/sk9dz) // curiouscat: [lovesbomb](https://curiouscat.me/lovesbomb)


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